My Journey to Motherhood
Nona D. Andaya-Castillo, IBCLC
I was a bottle-fed baby. When I learned that I was pregnant, I read books on natural birthing and breastfeeding. Having gone through so many illnesses and hospitalizations since I was a child, I was really determined to breastfeed my baby knowing its health benefits.
It was in 1987, while working as a lay missionary that I became pregnant. I think I was lucky that my pregnancy happened during that time because in the provinces, our usual food were fruits and vegetables. My work and my pregnancy helped me changed my lifestyle. I was able to conquer my sweet tooth. I stopped drinking soft drinks and coffee and switch from eating junk foods to healthier dishes and snacks during the pregnancy. My husband and I did a lot of swimming and walking. It was a problem-free pregnancy for me.
My only regret was that my husband was not around because I gave birth two weeks earlier and he was still out of town. Fortunately, I was totally prepared during the birthing process.
At about 12:00 midnight, when I went to the toilet, I saw the slightly red mucus plug which was a sign that my cervix is now open and ready for childbirth. I couldn't contain my excitement but I tried to sleep and be aware of contractions. The next morning, I excitedly told my in-laws that I am about to give birth! They could believe what they heard because I announced it with a big smile!
I went to the hospital with my aunt who lives nearby. The nurses who assisted me thought I was a nurse myself because I kept asking questions during the internal examinations like “how many cm?, what station?, etc.” During contractions, I was elated! I did not feel any pain! I would go through these contractions smiling and breathing confidently.
As I lay there on the delivery room, I requested the nurse not to touch me and allow me to concentrate on my contractions. After some time, they called the head of the hospital who did an internal exam. That was the first time I experienced pain. In my mind, he did not do it gently. He said that he has to perform an episiotomy and it had to be longer than usual to allow the passage of my child. After several pushes, my daughter was born!
Belle was a 6-pound baby. Her umbilical cord was neatly tied around her neck. The doctor deftly unwound it and handed her to the nurse who cut the remaining cord. She was brought to the nursery after the usual procedures. I want to breastfeed her after the delivery. However, I was told that I could not enter the nursery and I could not breastfed my daughter. Belle was given formula instead.
Unaware of my breastfeeding rights, I abided by the hospital’s policies not until the third day when my breasts were so engorged and I was really in pain. I requested the nurses and the doctors to allow me to breastfeed and relieve the pressure. They relented to my request after I insisted and asked for several times.
I was thrilled of holding my baby for the first time. I looked at her eyes and then checked her little fingers and toes. She was with me for nine months, moving inside my tummy reminding me of my gift to bring forth life. When she was born, I felt so frustrated that the hospital personnel did not allow me to hold her for two days.
After several minutes of being together with my baby and breastfeeding her, I was told to go back to my room and she had to go back to the nursery. I was greatly relieved but after an hour or so, my breasts are swelling again. A nurse gave me tablets of pain reliever and when I took it, the engorgement subsided and I was able to go to sleep.
The following day, my baby and I went home together with my aunt and my father-in-law. A hot meal prepared by my mother-in-law was waiting for us. It was a happy homecoming. I was finally with my baby and I thought that I could breastfeed as described from the books that I read. I tried to breastfeed Isabelle immediately to make up for the lost time.
However, I noticed that my breasts stopped getting engorged. When I pinched my breasts, only a few drops were dripping so I thought that the milk has dried up. It was a terrible realization for me because I desperately wanted to breastfeed. My husband arrived that night and he reassured me that everything would be fine. However, he knew nothing about breastfeeding to help me in my predicament.
I bottle-fed my baby for the next 15 days. With the changing hormones and not breastfeeding, post-partum blues easily crept in. Many times, I find myself crying, feeling awful for not breastfeeding. Mothering, a task that seems so awesome to me that time, also frightened me.
A friend advised me to contact a breastfeeding support group. I wanted to find out then, what is the best artificial milk. After reading the labels of the different brands, I felt so confused on what to give my baby.
This is how I met, Ines Fernandez, the Executive Director of Arugaan. She answered my phone call and reassured me that I still have breastmllk and that I should go back to breastfeeding. She also told me that there is no milk as good as mother’s milk.
On her 15th day, Isabelle depended solely on my breastmilk. I threw all the bottles and formula to start my relactation. That night, my baby slept in the family bed as encouraged by Ines and I had a good night sleep while breastfeeding my baby. Fortunately, she has no nipple confusion, and suckled my breasts with gusto. Together, we persevered in establishing the milk supply.
At first, I was exhilarated that I am exclusively breastfeeding my child. She urinated only twice that night which was far from the number of diapers she soiled when she was bottle-feeding. This scared me a bit, thinking that she is not getting enough. However, Ines reassured me that we are doing fine. She said that cow’s milk contain a lot of artificial and inappropriate components that are too heavy for my child’s immature digestive and excretory system.
The next problem was the sore nipples. My baby was on my breast for a long time and it was really painful every time she latches on. I think my strong commitment to breastfeed helped me. I felt like a human dextrose tied down to the baby. Relactation is a tedious process. Looking back now (I became a breastfeeding counselor in 1996 and an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant in 2004), I knew that my latch and positioning were incorrect.
My mother-in-law who breastfed her two sons, was very supportive in my efforts to breastfeed my baby. She did some housework for me at first and hired an additional house helper later. She also cooked delicious vegetable soups for me. My husband also provided lots of encouragement.
My mother and my aunts concerned with the initial weight loss and slow weight gain of Isabelle advised me to bottle-feed. One of my aunts even told me that I have very small breasts and she is sure that it does not contain enough milk for my baby!
Despite her fragile looks, my daughter was an alert, perceptive and active baby. In her fourth month, Isabelle’s weight and skinny look improved. We became a happy nursing couple.
I was supposed to go back to work when she was four months but I decided to stay home and breastfeed until she was one and a half years old. At that time, I thought that I had no more milk because my breast went back to its pre-pregnant size.
The first time I came back to work, I went to a conference and stayed away from home for one week. I was really surprised that I still have a lot of milk. I got engorged during that week and was even feverish.
My breastfeeding story did not stop there. I left my baby to my mother-in-law while on out-of town trips and while abroad. I was surprised that when I came back, my mother-in-law was breastfeeding my baby! At that time, my mother-in-law was 47 years old and his youngest son was 27 years old. God is really gracious. He gave my daughter another chance to breastfeed. My daughter Isabelle breastfed from my mother-in-law for another year!
Now that Isabelle is 26 years old, she is hardly sick, she didn’t even have a single bout of diarrhea. She is also intelligent. At the age of five, she was able to read the bible. To raise a teen-ager is difficult but I think breastfeeding established a bond between us that helps us pass this stage in our lives. I am really thankful that I was able to breastfeed my daughter despite all odds. She is very close to my mother-in-law and me and of course her father too!
The experience inspired me to help other mothers to breastfeed and actively work for breastfeeding promotion, support and protection. The voluntary work on maternal and child health did not provide me any regular remuneration but gave me fulfillment as I help the underprivileged sectors of our society, hone my skills in training, adult education and public speaking. It also gave me the opportunity to travel extensively around the country and in several countries as well and mingle and work with people from various cultures.
Last 2004, I took an international accreditation and became one of the only three Filipinas who are International Board Certified Lactation Consultants. It was the fruit of 10 years of helping many mothers nurture their babies. The best reward of this profession is when I see the baby suckling the mother’s breast with intense satisfaction and that reminds me how Mother Nature nurtures us.
It was in 1987, while working as a lay missionary that I became pregnant. I think I was lucky that my pregnancy happened during that time because in the provinces, our usual food were fruits and vegetables. My work and my pregnancy helped me changed my lifestyle. I was able to conquer my sweet tooth. I stopped drinking soft drinks and coffee and switch from eating junk foods to healthier dishes and snacks during the pregnancy. My husband and I did a lot of swimming and walking. It was a problem-free pregnancy for me.
My only regret was that my husband was not around because I gave birth two weeks earlier and he was still out of town. Fortunately, I was totally prepared during the birthing process.
At about 12:00 midnight, when I went to the toilet, I saw the slightly red mucus plug which was a sign that my cervix is now open and ready for childbirth. I couldn't contain my excitement but I tried to sleep and be aware of contractions. The next morning, I excitedly told my in-laws that I am about to give birth! They could believe what they heard because I announced it with a big smile!
I went to the hospital with my aunt who lives nearby. The nurses who assisted me thought I was a nurse myself because I kept asking questions during the internal examinations like “how many cm?, what station?, etc.” During contractions, I was elated! I did not feel any pain! I would go through these contractions smiling and breathing confidently.
As I lay there on the delivery room, I requested the nurse not to touch me and allow me to concentrate on my contractions. After some time, they called the head of the hospital who did an internal exam. That was the first time I experienced pain. In my mind, he did not do it gently. He said that he has to perform an episiotomy and it had to be longer than usual to allow the passage of my child. After several pushes, my daughter was born!
Belle was a 6-pound baby. Her umbilical cord was neatly tied around her neck. The doctor deftly unwound it and handed her to the nurse who cut the remaining cord. She was brought to the nursery after the usual procedures. I want to breastfeed her after the delivery. However, I was told that I could not enter the nursery and I could not breastfed my daughter. Belle was given formula instead.
Unaware of my breastfeeding rights, I abided by the hospital’s policies not until the third day when my breasts were so engorged and I was really in pain. I requested the nurses and the doctors to allow me to breastfeed and relieve the pressure. They relented to my request after I insisted and asked for several times.
I was thrilled of holding my baby for the first time. I looked at her eyes and then checked her little fingers and toes. She was with me for nine months, moving inside my tummy reminding me of my gift to bring forth life. When she was born, I felt so frustrated that the hospital personnel did not allow me to hold her for two days.
After several minutes of being together with my baby and breastfeeding her, I was told to go back to my room and she had to go back to the nursery. I was greatly relieved but after an hour or so, my breasts are swelling again. A nurse gave me tablets of pain reliever and when I took it, the engorgement subsided and I was able to go to sleep.
The following day, my baby and I went home together with my aunt and my father-in-law. A hot meal prepared by my mother-in-law was waiting for us. It was a happy homecoming. I was finally with my baby and I thought that I could breastfeed as described from the books that I read. I tried to breastfeed Isabelle immediately to make up for the lost time.
However, I noticed that my breasts stopped getting engorged. When I pinched my breasts, only a few drops were dripping so I thought that the milk has dried up. It was a terrible realization for me because I desperately wanted to breastfeed. My husband arrived that night and he reassured me that everything would be fine. However, he knew nothing about breastfeeding to help me in my predicament.
I bottle-fed my baby for the next 15 days. With the changing hormones and not breastfeeding, post-partum blues easily crept in. Many times, I find myself crying, feeling awful for not breastfeeding. Mothering, a task that seems so awesome to me that time, also frightened me.
A friend advised me to contact a breastfeeding support group. I wanted to find out then, what is the best artificial milk. After reading the labels of the different brands, I felt so confused on what to give my baby.
This is how I met, Ines Fernandez, the Executive Director of Arugaan. She answered my phone call and reassured me that I still have breastmllk and that I should go back to breastfeeding. She also told me that there is no milk as good as mother’s milk.
On her 15th day, Isabelle depended solely on my breastmilk. I threw all the bottles and formula to start my relactation. That night, my baby slept in the family bed as encouraged by Ines and I had a good night sleep while breastfeeding my baby. Fortunately, she has no nipple confusion, and suckled my breasts with gusto. Together, we persevered in establishing the milk supply.
At first, I was exhilarated that I am exclusively breastfeeding my child. She urinated only twice that night which was far from the number of diapers she soiled when she was bottle-feeding. This scared me a bit, thinking that she is not getting enough. However, Ines reassured me that we are doing fine. She said that cow’s milk contain a lot of artificial and inappropriate components that are too heavy for my child’s immature digestive and excretory system.
The next problem was the sore nipples. My baby was on my breast for a long time and it was really painful every time she latches on. I think my strong commitment to breastfeed helped me. I felt like a human dextrose tied down to the baby. Relactation is a tedious process. Looking back now (I became a breastfeeding counselor in 1996 and an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant in 2004), I knew that my latch and positioning were incorrect.
My mother-in-law who breastfed her two sons, was very supportive in my efforts to breastfeed my baby. She did some housework for me at first and hired an additional house helper later. She also cooked delicious vegetable soups for me. My husband also provided lots of encouragement.
My mother and my aunts concerned with the initial weight loss and slow weight gain of Isabelle advised me to bottle-feed. One of my aunts even told me that I have very small breasts and she is sure that it does not contain enough milk for my baby!
Despite her fragile looks, my daughter was an alert, perceptive and active baby. In her fourth month, Isabelle’s weight and skinny look improved. We became a happy nursing couple.
I was supposed to go back to work when she was four months but I decided to stay home and breastfeed until she was one and a half years old. At that time, I thought that I had no more milk because my breast went back to its pre-pregnant size.
The first time I came back to work, I went to a conference and stayed away from home for one week. I was really surprised that I still have a lot of milk. I got engorged during that week and was even feverish.
My breastfeeding story did not stop there. I left my baby to my mother-in-law while on out-of town trips and while abroad. I was surprised that when I came back, my mother-in-law was breastfeeding my baby! At that time, my mother-in-law was 47 years old and his youngest son was 27 years old. God is really gracious. He gave my daughter another chance to breastfeed. My daughter Isabelle breastfed from my mother-in-law for another year!
Now that Isabelle is 26 years old, she is hardly sick, she didn’t even have a single bout of diarrhea. She is also intelligent. At the age of five, she was able to read the bible. To raise a teen-ager is difficult but I think breastfeeding established a bond between us that helps us pass this stage in our lives. I am really thankful that I was able to breastfeed my daughter despite all odds. She is very close to my mother-in-law and me and of course her father too!
The experience inspired me to help other mothers to breastfeed and actively work for breastfeeding promotion, support and protection. The voluntary work on maternal and child health did not provide me any regular remuneration but gave me fulfillment as I help the underprivileged sectors of our society, hone my skills in training, adult education and public speaking. It also gave me the opportunity to travel extensively around the country and in several countries as well and mingle and work with people from various cultures.
Last 2004, I took an international accreditation and became one of the only three Filipinas who are International Board Certified Lactation Consultants. It was the fruit of 10 years of helping many mothers nurture their babies. The best reward of this profession is when I see the baby suckling the mother’s breast with intense satisfaction and that reminds me how Mother Nature nurtures us.
